If you think I’m going out today, you’re insane.  I’ve stocked up like it’s hurricane season specifically so I won’t have to head out into today’s madness.  For those of you not in the States who don’t know: today is our annual running of the bulls.  Only instead of crazed bovines, we loose bargain-hunting shoppers in search of day-after-Thanksgiving sales, and all the stores mark things up 20% so they can offer three dollars off to anyone who shows up at 5am. When I was a wee slip of a thing, I remember (with shivering clarity) huddling outside the mall before dawn with my grandmother because, I kid you not, “They might let us in a little early because you’re so small.”  Crazy bitch.

But I live in The Glorious Future, now, and I do all my holiday shopping online, from the warmth and relative safety of my home.  If you are sane like me, I’ve made you a little list of Things You Can Buy today (or whenever, really) if you’re feeling shoppy without the crazy.

You do like to read, don’t you?

• SHIVERING SANDS.  Which, okay, you’ve probably already got.  But what about your loved ones? Why don’t you love them enough to buy them a look at Warren’s brain?  What sort of a son/ daughter/ grandchild/ niece/ nephew/ cousin/ brother/ sister/ neighbor/ complete stranger are you, really?  
  

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• COILHOUSE MAGAZINE (and sundries). Issue four of COILHOUSE is just about to drop, but it looks like the coven beautiful CH ladies have a few issues of #3 left in stock. (And some shirts and bits and bobs, too.) COILHOUSE is one of the most beautiful magazines on the market, so you really are missing out if you haven’t seen it yet.
  

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• BONESHAKER.  Cherie Priest’s brilliant zombies-via-steampunk novel (lightish on the steampunk, but HEAVY on the brilliant) of airship proportions is something you need on your bookshelf, for seriously. 
  

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• CHANGING STATES.  Sarah Sharp’s photo book of her All-50-States adventure is a bit of a big-ticket item, yes.  I don’t know if you love anyone enough to get them this. But there’s no rule against treating yourself for the holidays.  In fact, that’s something I heartily endorse.
  

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• HACKING THE EARTH.  Jamais Cascio wants to tell you how to save the world.  If that’s not in the spirit of the holidays, I really just don’t know what is. And HtE comes wrapped in a loverly cover design by yours truly, so that’s fun, too.
  

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• THE FAST FICTION CHALLENGE. Lee Barnett’s 200-word bursts of clever, funny, horrifying, what-the-hell-ever, all collected in one handsome volume.  If you’re even thinking of publishing a book of short fiction, you should check this out to see how it’s done.
  

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• SUNKEN TREASURE. That link is going to take you to Wil Wheaton’s entire Lulu store, but I’m specifically linking this book here because it’s got pretty holiday season colors, and the cover (which I absolutely adore) was designed by my friend Matt Brooker.
  

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Apparel that will make you ever so sexier:

• I’ve got to mention Warren’s and my T-shirt of the Week, come on.  But it’s a smart one this week, and nothing’s sexier than smart.  Plus it expires on Sunday, so it’s the closest thing to a limited-time offer on the list, in keeping with the craziness of today.
  

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• And since Rich picked up the first run of our (Happy()Sad) shirts yesterday (on a national holiday, no less!  That’s some dedication.), I’ve got to link them, too.  But these have a coupon, also in keeping with the day. Just enter “wilw” (without the quotes) at checkout for 15% off your whole order, through the end of November.
  

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• And by “your whole order,” I mean you can buy as much as you want to in the Diesel Sweeties store, and get 15% off it all.  Including these Magic Paint Bucket ties, which I had absolutely nothing to do with, but I cannot for the life of me understand why they aren’t sold out.
  

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• These crack me up (and I’m somewhat responsible as they followed one of my Make Something rants). Jamais, again, on a lighter-but-no-less-serious note: Carbon Footprint of a Cheeseburger swag.
  

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Housewares and sundries to make your life better:

• Just in case you’ve forgotten our cafepress store has more than the TOTW (and because every time we sell a splatter-shield I get to say to Warren HA HA WHO’S CRAZY NOW. And that’s just really fun, I mean, really fun.)
  

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• But let’s be honest, here: If you’re going to buy one mug today, It’s going to be Wil’s geeenyus Memories of the Future mug. I really can’t remember if, when I first saw this, I said congrats to Wil for being a genius, or if I cried a little because I will never think of something this clever.  I want to say the first one.
  

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• Now that your table is beautiful, let’s move on to your walls, shall we?  I just this morning finally talked Emma Vieceli into putting her drop-dead gorgeous prints for sale online. Emma does beautiful work, you know when you can tell from the thumbnail, and your empty wall space needs some love.
  

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• Do you need something a little more motivating staring you in the face? What about Matt Jones’ GET EXCITED AND MAKE THINGS print?  That link is going to take you to a page where you can find another link out to the high-quality prints by 20×20, but because I want to end this post with a bit of holiday cheer, you can also scroll down to the bottom of that page and get a hi-res version of the image to print out yourself for absolutely free.
  

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So there you go.  Holiday shopping: solved.  And if you’re just not doing the whole buy things thing this year, that’s all right, too.  But give us a link or a retweet, if you would, because your attention and support are just as valuable (honestly? A bit more) as your monies. And then head over to FREAKANGELS if you’d like, because it’s new every Friday, and free to read and enjoy.

it is the role of the artist to challenge society. no one who lives within the system and makes conventional choices is capable of expanding the box we find ourselves in. that?s why it?s called, ?thinking outside? of it, and to do so, you have to be aware of it first. I believe ?artists? are people born with the dubious skill of acute box-awareness. I say dubious because, if they are anything like me (and I suspect they are, or I am like them), once aware of the confines placed on our existence it becomes increasingly difficult to tolerate them.

there are a lot of assumptions made about what constitutes a successful life. there is, I think, a certain amount of gender-based difference as to the specific expectations on an individual, but the checklist as I understand it runs: stable job, house, car, children, and subsequently future generations. all as expensive as possible. these things equal security, and if yours is like mine, your family says they ?just want you to be happy,? but what they mean is, ?I just want you to be safe, secure, and never take risks with your future.?

the laughable thing, the thing that keeps me from settling happily into the box, surrounded by wood-chips and a little exercise wheel that keeps me running constantly, going nowhere, is an underlying inability to believe that the checklist is actually working out for anybody.

As of right now, my little brother is 21 years old.* I wish oodles of happy natal felicitations to the lad — who can be found right here online. May he have many, many more gleeful, productive years ahead! And even though the occasion veritably cries out for me to tell embarrassing stories about him as a wee nublet of a boy, I will do no such thing.

At this time.

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* He’s … um … rather significantly younger than me, yes.

My day was actually similar to:

G’night.

(I have no credits for the shot. Please add them in comments if you know.)

So who can tell me what the Deathfall is? Has anyone in the class ever heard of that before? ... Yes, um, Bladeflake? Yes? ... Well, sure, that's one way to put it. It *is* a sort of "crazy blizzard", I suppose.

You see, when you are all grown up and you have done all the grown-up things you were meant to do in your life, and you begin to hear the icy groan in your limbs - the creak and crack that happens as your crystalline bones weaken with age - then you will gather your strength one last time, along with all the other Ice Lords of your age, to make the trek over the mountains, across the plain, all the way around the world to invade and besiege the fiery tropical realm of the Fire Princesses.

Yes, of course it's very hot there! Blistering! The Princesses live in eternal daylight, the sun forever above them, their homes built right into the thousands of sputtering, shaking volcanoes that smolder in the bright, scorching light. And the Princesses themselves run red-hot with the boiling fluid that runs through their veins.

Yes, Stormhammer. It does sound like a dangerous place and yes, in fact, it can kill you. It *will* kill you. It *does* kill you. The Deathfall is the last thing you do in your life: You invade their land and you slake your desire on any and every Princess you can. Their flesh will burn your eyes and splinter your skin but your icy seed can survive - and it will. You will leave it in as many of their boiling wombs as you can before your body can take no more, and you melt.

That's right. You will melt. All that is you will eventually fail to hold and you will break into pieces and vanish as steam off the body of your final conquest. That is how we Ice Lords die. And that is how we make new life.

Yes, babies. This is where babies come from. The seed's stony case will melt and fertilize and the Princesses will bear new children. Those who are girls will be, of course, Fire Princesses, to be raised under the bright and scorching sun. Those who are boys will be Ice Lords, to be raised here in the comforting embrace of night.

How? Well, of course the newborns cannot travel all the way back around the world on their own, and they cannot survive long among the volcanoes. So they must be brought to us. Each year, at the Birthspring, the oldest among the Princesses - the ones who have done all the grown-up things they were meant to do in their lives, who no longer feel the heat of their own blood, whose skins have begun to crack from the smoke - gather their strength one last time to trek across the plain and over the mountains, all the way around the world before the last of their life-spark expires... to bring us our sons.

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For consideration: ...it's like MARCH OF THE PENGUINS meets a Ralph Bakshi cartoon...

a visit to Doctor Beef?s Storm Troopin? set on flickr is always a worthwhile activity.

For those folks who are interested, here's the Slideshare version of the presentation I gave last week at the Earthquake Engineering Research Institute annual meeting. I was asked to talk about foresight thinking, as the event theme was "The Big One of 2056: What Went Right?" a look at a fictional 7.8 quake in the SF region that was handled as well as they could imagine possible.

My goal was to offer a bit of reassurance to the audience that there is some real utility to thinking about the future, and to spell out (in a cursory way) the kinds of big picture issues they should keep in mind while looking ahead forty-six years.

Inflection Points

View more presentations from Jamais Cascio.

By and large, it was a successful talk. The post-talk questions were engaged, with little push-back, and I'm told that the overall response from the audience was quite positive.

The talk was video recorded, and I'm told will eventually be available to the public. I'll link when that happens.

• Keynote: Bruce Sterling (us) on Atemporality | transmediale
  "If progress is to go beyond the banal indulgences that give rise to a never-ending array of car shell designs then we need to analyse our present time with regard to its aesthetics and its media. The second conference session is being introduced with Bruce Sterling's Keynote on Atemporality."
  (tags:video )

Jack Bauer saves the day... with AOL 3.0

unhappyhipsters brings me a special kind of joy.

unhappyhipsters:

At the art opening, he?d been convinced the blank canvas symbolized endless possibilities. Back at home, it was just one more reminder of his own desperation.

(Photo: Raimund Koch; Dwell, April 2009)

true story.

bigworldsmallvictories:

Sentimentality follows preservation.

A

Good morning! Fancy A Fierce Pancake for breakfast?

HOW MUCH IS THE FISH? HOW MUCH IS THE CHIPS?! (Lara! Thank you!)

Egads, how could I have forgotten about these freakwads? I once loved their one-and-only studio album, A Fierce Pancake with the same passion reserved for exceptional goofballs like Primus, Billy Nayer Show, Mr Bungle, Idiot Flesh, Violent Femmes, Fishbone, and Adam the the Ants. But it’s been a long, long time since I last listened…

Is it just me, or does Mick Lynch look uncannily like Siege (yanno, if Siege were crossed with Ed Grimley and a lemur)?

Formed in London in 1983, Stump were a legendary Anglo-Irish indie/experimental/rock group inspired by Captain Beefheart. The lineup was Kev Hopper on bass, Rob McKahey on drums, Chris Salmon on guitar, and Mick Lynch on vocals. They toured a lot in the mid 80s on a couple of brilliant, bizarre EPs, and their energetic live shows quickly earned them a cult following. Then they got signed to a major label, apparently squabbled constantly during the production of AFP and broke up soon afterward, a quarter of a million pounds in debt to their record company, and never to be heard from again.*

The entire album is cracked fucking genius. It’s also very difficult to track down anymore. Beg, borrow, steal a copy if you can.

Read the rest of Better Than Coffee: A Fierce Pancake

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Post tags: Better than coffee, Crackpot Visionary, Dance, Geekdom, Music, Punk, Silly-looking types